So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
