My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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