i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
