So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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