Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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