a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
