This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I want to be your penis for a week.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
