Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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