White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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