i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize