i think my tv is drunk
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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