suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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