if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
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