Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
