all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
