i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
