By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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