Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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