Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
