You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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