Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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