No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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