The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
