Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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