I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Its about making memories worth repressing
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
