used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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