I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
