I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
