the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
