idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize