dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
