your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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