I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
