I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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