i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
