She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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