I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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