I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
