Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
