Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
