I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
