It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
