The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
