This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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