Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
