had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
