life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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