What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
