I wannas sexs uuuuu
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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