SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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