is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize