I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize