ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
