its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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