I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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