You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
