I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
