Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
