Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
