Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
