Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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