i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
