This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Never joke about your clitoris.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
