One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
