Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
