I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Terrible idea I love it
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
