Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
